Throughout my interview with Chara, we discussed issues like personal responsibility, surrendering to the inner voice, and battling addictions. Through her life experience, she has risen above her circumstances to maintain sobriety, healthy parenting, and joy. Below are three lessons I took away from our time together.
Take responsibility for your actions and do not worry about taking someone else’s inventory: Chara decided to apply the lessons she learned to get clean, that she doesn’t need to make the calculations for others. Her actions are what are important. If she apologizes for her mistakes, there is a much larger chance that things will fall into place. Chara applied that to her relationship with her sister and that helped them mend their relationship. Despite not being quite as it was when they were children, today they are a support system for one another. It is a significant improvement that means the world to Chara.
Listen to the inner voice: Chara is very in tune with her inner voice. She listens, and she trusts it. There were many times in her life that she heard a message. She took these messages to the heart. She placed trust in them, and she made changes consequently. As she told me her story, she revealed these times to me. Then, I told her that I saw a pattern. She was very aware of that inner voice, but she hadn’t detected the pattern, and it was only when I mentioned it to her that she realized how it kept happening throughout her life. This was not something that she was doing forcefully; she just trusted her gut instinct. She listened and acted upon these messages. We all get messages. We all have this inner voice, but life is so noisy that it drowns out our inner voices. We must get back into listening to ourselves.
- Get out of your comfort zone: Accept that what you require may not be what you want. Have the courage to try something different. Chara kept repeating the same mistakes in her life. She kept searching for the "men of her dreams, the house of her dreams, and the job of her dreams." Every time she got what she wanted, she fell into an abyss of despair. She started perceiving the patterns of her behavior, and she opened her heart and soul to the possibility that she did not know what was best for her. She resigned herself to allow things to flow. She practiced gratitude. She kept listening to her inner voice, and she is finally feeling joy and happiness. Trusting the process, the journey, and allowing for events to flow without controlling our future could be very beneficial in making good changes.
By chance, Chara discovered that her name means Joy in Greek. She asked her parents why they gave her that name, and they said that they liked the sound of it. Chara does not believe in coincidences, and she accepts the challenge.
Today, Chara is joyful. She has found peace and is living happily with herself, her two children, and her dog named Joy.