Learning from Elisheva
Elisheva was my daughter’s first-grade teacher. I lived in a community where she lived during her surrogacy. I remember vividly it is a birth that brought joy to the entire community. Moments like this bring so much hope.
Doing these interviews is not an easy process for me. As an empath, I get very emotional and the compassion I feel lingers. Many times, I have that knot in my throat for days. I think that stories like this can save someone, not only with ideas but with hope, which is really something that can save a person who is in the depths of despair.
I am writing the blog post many weeks after we had the interview. I cried listening to our Zoom video, and I sit here imagining the pain that Elisheva went through, through all the losses, the physical pain, which she did not describe. In my mind, the emotional pain must have been so much greater. But Elisheva was strong through our call, and I saw the huge desire to provide the help and solace, just as she had gotten from Linda.
Lessons from Elisheva
Reminders to have faith. Elisheva named one of the babies she lost Emunah, which means faith. She knew she needed this reminder. At times, we feel very discouraged; it is hard to believe when our prayers go unanswered. It is okay to have our faith tested, and it is okay to find ways to remind ourselves that we need to believe despite the sadness and disappointment. I felt that this vulnerability was such a sign of courage and strength.
Commitment to the faith. Throughout the process, there were times it would have been so much easier to not ask guidance of the scholars in her religion. Despite the hardship and the pain, they never considered just going ahead and doing whatever they felt was best for them. Each person deals with the laws of their religion the way they please, and no one should ever pass any judgment, as we are never in each other’s shoes and have no clue of the pain and suffering a person feels. I was very impressed that even while going through such ordeals, they chose to follow the rules with care and devotion at a time that would be very understandable if it was just filled with anger.
- Giving Back. I always say that exactly what broke us is our strength. No difference here. Despite this topic being so personal and so very painful, Elisheva has for years helped by guiding and supporting so many couples who had no other options but seek surrogacy. Elisheva knows the pain, and she also knows the Joy. She couldn’t not be the bridge to help other parents find their Joy.
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