A young widower with knowledge beyond her years
Stephanie’s story was highlighted in a magazine called “Valour” Magazine. My clothing line’s story was printed in the same issue. I had read her story and then read another article she had written on an online website. We touched based via Instagram and the next thing I know we had an appointment booked for an interview.
The interview was long because Stephanie is just so open. She shares about her life and her experiences with a very giving heart. She knows her story can help, and she sees it as her obligation, her calling. Frankly, I felt that she was emulating her husband, Motti, who had been such a giving and caring person in the short years of his life. They truly had so much in common and I believe that he was able to show her the importance of being a giver despite being someone who also needed so much.
When the interviews are long, the hardest part is to compile the main 3 lessons learned. But the purpose of this blog is to give actionable steps that we can all implement in our lives when hardship, tragedies strike. So, there is much to learn, and I hope that you will draw your own conclusion and your own messages
Lessons learned from Stephanie
- Self-reflection: I don’t think I know many people that can, very objectively, assess who they were, who they are and who they want to be. Stephanie is able to see her shortcomings, not be embarrassed about them, find a way to better those traits and then she can speak about them, not with shame but with pride for having managed to create the change that was necessary. I believe that many times, we hide with shame and we can’t verbalize the characteristics we deep inside know we need to work on. The ability to very objective, verbalize and work on it is something that I greatly commend and definitely learned from Stephanie. After my conversation with her, I stopped and made a list of some traits about myself that need a whole lot of work. I think that I need to still learn to be more patient. I know I improved but I frequently see that there is a huge ocean of space for me to improve. Thank you, Stephanie, for being a role model and showing me that there is no shame in confessing a weakness and being in tune with my shortcomings. (this is just one of them ;))
Understanding the need to seek help: often we go through a hard patch in our lives and we just manage by ourselves to the best of our ability… or we try to manage, either because we have shame, because we feel we are stronger than we are, because we just don’t feel like we have the proper time or recourses… I saw in Stephanie a self-awareness and understanding of her abilities and an acceptance that she can reach out for help when the issue is bigger than her. If it is an immediate connection to God, who help her throughout her difficulties, or if it is the acceptance to do the required work by going to AA, Al-anon, OA… Stephanie knows her limitations and knows to reach out for help.
- Compassion and Empathy. Stephanie would not be wrong if she would be angry, disappointed with her husband, who at the end of the day betrayed her in a way for not being there for her, for cheating her from a happily ever after. But Stephanie has compassion, empathy and a deep understanding towards her husband and she understands that what may seem like a choice for someone who is an addict it is not quite that simple. Throughout our conversation, not once I felt anger or resentment. I only felt love, and pride of the kind man her husband was. She cherished his memory and keeps him alive for her son. She is creating a safe space for him to grow up loving his father, which is something a child naturally wants to do. Sometimes the people who hurt us do so without intention and that is something we need to keep close to our hearts.
I have no doubt Stephanie will raise her young adorable son to be a strong, kind, loving and giving man, who will be just like Stephanie a light onto this world.
Share your comments and thoughts. Your #kintsugi experience may inspire others just like Stephanie’s has and will continue to do. We would love to hear from you today! To get in touch with us please email firstname.lastname@example.org
You can find Stephanie on Instagram at: @stephaniepollak
Photo by Renee Kahn Bresler
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